Texas Chainsaw Massacre / Death Race 2000 / Inland Empire / NaNoWriMo Finale / X-mas Gift Ideas!

Last week I took the time to eat turkey and visit Goddard's lovely family. I fell in love with their 4 ft Ball Python named David and now want one for Christmas. I'm totally serial kittlings.

And here I am, full of film and food, ready to lay down some knowledge in regards to some classic horror, classic violence, and Neo-Classic Eccentricity. Oh its the most wonderful time of the year!

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (directed by Tobe Hooper). Um...why hadn't I watched this movie until 2 days ago? This is THE classic American horror film. And this is coming from a HALLOWEEN franchise FREAK! Rob Zombie and many others have used this film as a primer if not a traceable plot. Oh - that 1st kill scene, that metal door!!! What a infinitely creepy film, so so superior to the laughable remake whose only positive was how smokin' hot Jessica Biel looked in a straw cowboy hat, dirty jeans and THAT WIFE BEATER!

Yet I digress; We had an issue with our Netflix copy of TCM but I was able to finish the film tonight and was glad I had eaten dinner before watching the rest of the film. Even if you're not a horror fan, you should watch this movie. You will not regret it. And if you've seen it, isn't it time to brush off the copy and re-watch it? Just in time for the holidays!

DEATH RACE 2000 (directed by Paul Bartel) This movie will soon be a remake starring Jason Statham and directed by Paul Anderson. No, not that Anderson. The one that did EVENT HORIZON. Anyway, I'm talking the 1975 Roger Korman-produced gore-fest which turns out to be quite an interesting ride. An early film for both actors David Carradine and Sylvester Stallone, it reminded me of Robocop or Starship Troopers in violence, gore and satirical message. Robocop and Starship Troopers are WAY more interesting though. DR2000 is only 1 hour and 18 minutes long and my boy Goddard couldn't stay up EITHER time we tried to watch it. Nuff said.

INLAND EMPIRE (directed by David Lynch) From almost the very first scene, I felt as if I was watching Lynch pay homage to himself and his other films with INLAND EMPIRE. It was either that or just a beautiful enigma that fits like an awkward glove (as par for the course with Lynch's movies). So on edge with eerie, yet so delightful in its confusion.

Having a boyfriend as theater tech, Ze Brickthrower has begun to notice when stage and lighting comes into play within films, and so I particularly enjoy the "bunny stage scenes" as I'll call them - which are reminiscent of both the Philly Fringe Festival as well as the Sylvania Family toys of my youth.

I have never been too thrilled with Laura Dern ever and yet I see why Lynch chooses her again and again. She acts with everything she has and is easy to watch. I have had a crush on main actor Justin Theroux ever since his stint on HBO series 6 FEET UNDER (and a 1 or 2 eppy thang on SEX AND THE CITY too!) and I think he is just conceited enough to play his character correctly. Even if he does look like a short man, I can see the prowess he exudes.

Any movie with Jeremy Irons automatically goes up in awesomeness a notch. The handheld camera style is fresh; it does not seem "BLAIR WITCH" or "REALITY SHOW" yet simply real. My favorite concept within the film is the scene changes. Let me explain - the plot in a nutshell is that Dern and Theroux are actors, filming a "cursed" movie of sorts with Irons directing them. The audience is given the guide of a fade out/fade in but twice I was fooled by scenes within scenes of the film being filmed in the film. You follow me? I hardly do.

An 3 Hour long film that is well worth the time. Do I know what it all means? Probably not - but I have me theories and will be watching it again to further research them. Won't you do the same?
===============

Do you know a geek like me? Here are some gift ideas for the upcoming X-mas / Hannukah Holidaze:
-Games that interact with the TV like JEOPARDY, MEGAQUIZ, etc.
-Wallet and accessories by CUPCAKE CULT - too cute!
-HARRY POTTER themed scarves (Slytherin is my boy personally)
-TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET V. 2
-DEGRASSI JR HIGH and DEGRASSI HIGH - the ORIGINAL series DVD
-Scarves, hats, arm-warmers, fingerless gloves and any other winter accessory item that is cute and preferably had skulls
-Old video games like MORTAL KOMBAT ANNHILATION and other fighting games
-DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION (with foam mats)
-Cute Change Purse
-LOMO camera - Urban Outfitters is carrying a sick amount of Lomo cameras, all of them are awesome. Lomo's make everyone look like a pro.
===================

So as NaNoWriMo draws to a close, I can only say that I barely broke 11,000 words. I do not have any semblance of an actual novel; only scenes here and there that don't really coagulate. Lesson learned; I am not a novel writer. But I do still have this idea that I'm an editor or would really like to be. And I have been sorta given the unofficial official title of "editor chick" for an upcoming FOO (that would be FRIENDS OF OEMING) anthology. More details to come ! But just think of all the talent Oeming knows! It could get crazy!

===================
Enjoy your weekend. ~Till Next Time Kittlings.

NaNoWriMo / Scrabulous / Rubbermaid massacre = Free Trash Cans!

What does a dancing alien in a santa hat GIF have to do with home mortgages? I ask this because that was the ad that just graced my Facebook page whilst playing my new favorite passtime, Scrabulous. I have 13 games going at one time right now my kittlings.

My main Scrabulous (i.e., Scrabble on Facebook) competitor M. Sean McManus is in Dublin for the con going on over there this weekend; Mike Oeming makes his way down to Wizard World Texas in an unofficial "booth boy" capacity for the ass-kickin' Taki Soma, and the likes of Scott Wegener and Chris Moreno head to NYC for the Big Apple Con. The last comic book convention for many of the season - it seems everyone is making the mad dash for finish line this year. Me? I'll be nowhere. I was thinking NYC but that's most likely not happening. Look for me in 2008, where I hope to hit Paradise Con and Dragon*Con in addition to Wizard World Philly.

I need to stay home and write my novel anyway. Oh - I forgot to mention? I'm writing a novel during the month of November. It's actually National Novel Writing Month aka NaNoWriMo, where people around the nation (and world) attempt a 50,000 word novel completely from scratch. Think 24 hour Comic Book Day but in terms of prose. I am a poetry and short prose type of girl, my college thesis was a page short but you couldn't will me to write more. I am determined in writing what I mean and saying no more.

Meanwhile I had this idea bubbling in my head. A basic story idea that had transformed itself from the beginnings of a novel, to a poem, to a comic book script...and yet nothing worked. I heard about National Novel Writing Month from a message board I frequent and thought -"why not?" I could try in a controlled environment (read: November) to get through this story idea I've had FOREVER and finally decide whether its worth it or not. What a fantastic idea right?

Never did it run through my mind that I'm a notorious procrastinator and certified time-waster. Very convenient that I started my new hobby of Scrabulous right around the time as this novel eh? Not convenient at all but well calculated. The goof-off part of my brain knows what its doing!

I hit problem after problem in what I was doing. I get bored in writing exposition easily. I feel myself mincing words just to get to the end of my thought process. Perhaps outlining might work better for me? I had some support from fellow writers and that helped, and I bumbled along to 5,000 words after losing 1,000 to computer error. I started to fully realize how I could loosely tie vague ideas together and wrote 1,000 words more.

That was over a week ago. We're now at the halfway mark and I only have approximately 6,100 words. Through this past week I have realized that my own personal goal should be about 15,000. I'll be happy if I make it to that daunting mark by the 30th. I have learned so much about myself so far. Namely, that I'm not a novel writer. But when it's all said and done, I can say my brain thoroughly took in and spewed forth all it could in regards to this story and this character. Then, I'll collaborate with someone else and make it a story that everyone can read.

Are you interested in knowing what my story is about? The working ti tle is THE JACKET THIEF. Feel free to read my excerpt which is available on the official web site of the NaNoWriMo:
http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/221158
=============

For my Halloween Edition of my column (see 2 columns ago) - I wro te about comic book cover artist Dave Johnson's awesome "Cyber Samurai" costume made from Rubbermaid trashcans. Well get this - Rubbermaid contacted Dave with quite a interesting gift - read on the email I received from Dave:

> -----Original Message----- >
From: dave johnson   > Sent:
Tuesday, November 13, 2007 1:16 PM >
To: Mary E. Brickthrower >
Subject: HAHAAHA!!!!! SOmeone at
Rubbermaid > contacted
me about my > Costume
>
> I really would have thought that
they'd be pissed
> off, > but I
guess they have a sense of humor. > Read on.... 
>  >  > Dave

--------------------------------------------------------
---- > >  > >
:: Rubbermaid Garbage Can for Costume 
kudzutech,
I recently was alerted to your creative use of a 
Rubbermaid trash can in the making of a Halloween
Costume.  
We were very impressed with your imagination and 
> ingenuity.
We never envisioned that our trash cans could
become something
like you crafted. We found the pictures at:
http://thelonehair.blogspot.com/2007/11/rubbermaid-halloween-samurai.html

I am Ryan T. smith, the Brand Manager for Rubbermaid
Home  Products managing the Outdoor Refuse category,
the group that makes Rubbermaid trash cans.
Seeing as an innocent, apparently new trash perished in
the creation of 
your costume, I would like to send you a new one.

Whether you use it to haul trash to the curb, make
next year's
costume, or something altogether else, please accept a 
replacement on 
us.
Just contact me with your name, address and phone 
number and I'll get it sent out to you.

Have a great day,
Ryan
(email withheld)
==================
~Till Next Time Kittlings!

After Halloween Horror (and more) Reviews

Greetings Kittlings -
I am knee deep in National Novel Writing Month, and plan a full update with some excerpts from my novel. In between that time, take a look at some past movie reviews I did. Enjoy!!!
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THE RING 2

Dane bought me lunch and we saw THE RING 2...which was extremely disappointing. The previews intigued me more. WAR OF THE WORLDS looks insane (and TOM CRUISE is still GIRL PORN APPROVED©), THE AMITYVILLE HORROR looks even creepier, and DARK WATER should be interesting to say the least. But that brings along its own connotations. Follow my circular logic here=====>>>>SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! THE RING took the rather lame and disjointed plot of Japan's RINGU and made it quite the thriller. The CGI "girl-out-of-the-TV" creep fest was fine b/c of all the urban myth and jump-worthy imagery injections throughout the first 2/3 of the movie. And then I was tipped off to JU-ON and any regular reader of this blog knows my extreme interest in J Horror and Asian cult, particularly ghost stories. RINGU did not impress me but DARK WATER did. Some went too far and some were just terrifying. So the news the THE RING 2 would be directed by the original Japanese RINGU and RINGU 2 made me both hopeful (in the sense that THE GRUDGE/Shimizu partnership that translated to a pretty neat adaptation of J Horror for American audiences) and worried (the fact that I was not a fan of his RINGU work). Hope won out over my fears and I knew that seeing THE RING 2 opening weekend was a must. And yes, the jumps were there, I was covering my eyes at many points in the film. But to turn your film into the simplistic plot of ghost that wants a mommy is "universally stupid" as Cereal Killer would say. While it is a theme that is a good idea--LOOK AT YOUR SCHEDULES PEOPLE! DARK WATER will be out this summer. It is being touted as being from the people that made "RINGU" and "RINGU 2." About a girl...that wants a mommy. People are going to get sick of the genre before they've even given it a fair chance. Oh yeah--CGI is not scary. Especially CGI deer that are supposed to be menacing. EVIL DEAD is a great movie and it used rubber prosthetics and fake blood. Take note.
+++++++++end of ZE BRICKTHROWER RANT #33++++++++++
============

AMITYVILLE HORROR [remake]

First and foremost, RYAN REYNOLDS used to annoy me. He doesn't annoy me anymore. Mr. Reynolds Sir, you are now officially GIRL PORN APPROVED©. And your axe dragging is JACK TORRANCE worthy! My favorite part of the body on a man? The indentation on either side of the six pack below the waist. I'm just sayin'.

Let me preface this by saying Friday night I spent researching the AMITYVILLE stories on a few sites and getting myself creeped out for the film. I'm new to the horror genre as I have been a card-carrying Scaredy Cat for most of my life. Discredited as a publicity stunt did put a damper on the visions of ghosties dancing in my head but I was still in the mood for a movie that would make me jump (just like KRISS KROSS!!)

I started saturday morning by watching the original Amityville Horror on the Mystery Channel, and laughing at the pure silliness of it all. There are scary movies made in the 70's--this was not one of them. The editing is horrible...but we're not here to talk about that...we're talking about the inevitable remake. Inevitable b/c I'm quite sure its the END OF DAYS and there are no stories left to tell.

The Amityville Horror is for the most part a mish-mash of past horror cliches and recent stylistic staples. The jump cut/sped up film technique that is being used in EVERY horror film is now just getting ridiculous. Its not scary anymore. DAMN YOU GOTHIKA!!! While I did jump--several times--I was left with mostly just a glazed over look of confusion that someone would actually attempt the "indian burial ground" story again. Seriously. The house was not the menacing part...it was the apparitions...the original JU-ON takes the cake on this type of scare so I won't even compare. The way they could've made this movie better was by having REYNOLDS' shirtless more. Nuff said.
=============

STAR WARS : REVENGE OF THE SITH

Don't Listen to the HATERZZZ!!!

GEORGE LUCAS--you have redeemed the STAR WARS name and made it cool to be a geek again!!! As the first 2 episodes of the Star Wars trilogy only proved to be convoluted messes of wooden dialogue and cheap laughs with the best character to be introduced dying MUCH too soon (DARTH MAUL was the shizzy, killing him that soon was perhaps the dumbest moment in the entire series of films). The second film with its "love story" and "petulant child" acting of Hayden Christensen was cringe-worthy on all accounts. I think you could tell my annoyance with the trilogy was high and my trust in the third film being good was shaken greatly.

REVENGE OF THE SITH opened with a massive STAR FIGHTER/and speeding air ships that led to a kickass action sequence, the less talk the better it seems. The light saber battles could not have been topped and were almost dizzying to watch. Everything that needed to be explained to lead you into the 2nd Trilogy was done so and not in a rushed way. It all made sense and was coherent. I still am not convinced of the love between Padme and Anakin but I blame this more on the dialogue than the actors--who have both proven themselves excellent in their craft. EWAN MCDIARMAND (sp?) is brilliant as PALPATINE, watching his transformation is stunning and he is able to give the story much credibility in his subtle yet sinister voice. It is EWAN MCGREGOR that shines as a young OBI WAN--his voice is dead-on and he even nailed such simple things as SIR ALEC GUINNESS' gait.


(((Left: The Bad Guys Always Make it Better!)))

Again, I must comment on the speed and talent exhibited by all those that held a light saber, even little YODA upstaged his previous fight with COUNT DOOKU, this time taking on PALPATINE with a zeal that he saves for the true evil of the Empire. I have always been a fan of the dark side, and to watch the origins of MY Darth Vader were awesome and saddening at the same time. This holds true for the JEDI's fate as well. To not give JAR JAR one speaking line is simply ici ng on the cake. LUCAS has given the fans something to be proud of...and confirms my theory that the titles that contain the a reference to the DARK SIDE are the better films (i.e. THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK)
=================

BIRTH

BIRTH stars a pixie-ish NICOLE KIDMAN as a 2-year widower, ready to marry a rich and pompous suit until a boy played by CAMERON BRIGHT (of GODSEND fame) enters their home and pleads with KIDMAN not to marry her suitor. Why would a little boy whom doesn't know KIDMAN even care whose she's marrying? B/c he claims to be the reincarnation of her dead husband SHAWN . This is the beginning of a story about love and love lost and more piercing stares by KIDMAN and BRIGHT than actual dialogue between them. This does not gloss over the obvious problems of a 10-year old boy claiming to be a dead man; sex is talked about, how BRIGHT will support his "wife," the sheer craziness and unbelieveable chance that KIDMAN has found her "Shawn." LAUREN BACALL, KIDMAN's mother, plods along with constant reassurance that her daughter will wake up and

realize the absurdity of it all while the boy's mother seems to be ok with every fancy the boy has. ANNE HECHE has long hair (sorry, its a shocker to me) and plays a mysterious friend of KIDMAN's, whose secrets reveal that Shawn is not all that he seems. She is surprisingly good in this, with a wounded seriousness in her acting.

Although the resolution is ambiguous and the dialogue often left me asking "Why aren't they REALLY talking to each other???" I really enjoyed this film. The soundtrack was jarring at times; all classical and booming and majestic at times then quiet and morose at others--but it fit the story well. The real stars were the eyes of KIDMAN and BRIGHT, whom seemed to be speaking oceans of words to each other without uttering a single sound. This movie will not skeeve you out like a LOLITA but will twist and turn you on your head. Go. Rent. Now.
================

~Till Next Time Kittlings.